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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
I am not SPAM I am MAN
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I am not SPAM I am MAN "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did" Denzel Washington said that in a commencement . It's pretty good motivational stuff but it also sounds like something a would say to a from Omaha who's new in the big city. I guess a is basically a professionally motivator though. Like a lot of dudes my age when I was a I used to solve mysteries with my friends Mortimer and Ricky B, although if we're being honest, and I think we are, Mortimer and I did most of the heavy lifting and Ricky B was just kind of along for the ride. That came to an end in '86 when we were investigating a pile of dead cheerleaders that had been sexually assaulted and mutilated. It seems strange now that would be investigating something like that but the 80's were a different time. I guess because all the adults were on cocaine it was left to to solve crimes. We determined that the culprit was a clown who lived in a well outside of town on an abandoned farmhouse where the wife had gone crazy one night and killed her husband and three sons with a flaming pitchfork. Did I say killed, I meant gruesomely slaughtered. She was driven mad by the machinations of the spirit form of Sên-Iey the Illusion-weaver. But that's a story for another day. When we encountered the clown he kept saying "you get not a normal clown right ?" talking about how he lived in a well and had magic powers. Eventually I said "Yeah we get it already, we all read IT we know the deal" and then when he made us explain IT he got all bent out of shape because he said that Steven King stole his life story. He was real angry about the whole IT thing so he said he was going to eat one of us and we had to choose. Ricky B had the idea that we should all say out own name because then it would be a tie and he couldn't eat any of us. Mortimer and I agreed, well said we did anyway, and then agreed that it was too risky so we both said Ricky B's name. We just didn't feel like solving mysteries anymore after Ricky B was eaten by a clown-monster. Plus I moved away the next year. The other day Double D asked me which one of her friends I would have sex with if I "had to" which is a weird implied threat. This is a classic girlfriend trap. I said that since all her friends a gay dudes I didn't care, but I've thought about it more and that's not true. Sex with a lady you pretty much know the deal, but if you're going to have sex with a dude there's a couple ways it can go down. So in this scenario where somehow coerced into having sex with one of her gay dude friends - If he's sucking my dick I want whoever's the best it If sucking his dick I want whoever comes the fastest If banging him I want whoever looks to the most effeminate from behind If he's banging I want whoever has the smallest dick I can't figure how I set up the voice on my phone. Since I do work from home sometimes that's an issue. Not that I get a ton of calls, but still. It makes me feel . I heard the song "I Feel Pretty" the other day. Either I never heard the entire song before or I just forgot but it's totes weird. There's a whole section where the singer is busting on her "good friend Maria" for being crazy. Not just crazy but also infested with fleas. She goes on to say that this is not normal for Maria. I've listened to it a few more times and I think this song is about demonic possession. First Maria is possessed and then the singer herself. She sings about being alarmed at how charming she's become, why would she be alarmed unless this was not normal? The ability to influence others is a common demonic power. She talks about feeling dizzy and not recognizing herself in the mirror. Sounds like possession to me. I started writing a story once about some people who survived demonic possession and were left with strange powers. They banded together to fight against such things happening to others. As you may have noticed not blogging so much these days. This is for a variety of reasons, one of which is that I started an even more pointless blog about D&D. I can't imagine anyone would be interested but if you are drop a line and I can send you the link. Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I agree with your criteria about which guys to bang in which scenario. But what if you had to do everything with him, which factor would be most important?  
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Wait a minute! You haven't been sitting home trying to think of the perfect blog post with which to titillate me? Your blogging about D&D instead? I am utterly crushed. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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