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smart 4/13/2018
Teacher, "Tell me the difference between a Callgirl,
Girlfriend and Wife?" <br><br>
The whole class was silent.. till little Johnny put his
hand up and answered: <br><br>
"Prepaid, Postpaid and Unlimited."
4 Comments, 39 Views,
15 Votes
,4.66 Score |
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rubber penis 4/13/2018
at the airport, Customs officer finds a rubber penis in
a lady's handbag and asks, " Are you married?"
lady: Yes <br><br>
Officer: "Then why this?" <br><br>
Lady: "You've landline at home ?" <br><br>
Officer: Yes <br><br>
Ladyquot;Then why do you carry a mobile?" <br><br> ...
0 Comments, 29 Views,
9 Votes
,4.07 Score |
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She wanted gentlemen damit....hahaha 4/12/2018
A 60 something year old woman was aggravated and bored due
the serious lack of attention from men. So she get's
online, finds the famous hookup site [for sex] and proceeds
to fill out her profile... <br><br>
"Mmmm", she wonders, "What should I use
for picture"? < <br><br>
She stands up, runs to her bedroom , finding her digital
camera, carefully ...
1 Comments, 75 Views,
20 Votes
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salesman 4/12/2018
The salesman is using sex to sell me a CD er, giving me
pressure about my love life. 'Mr. Mercurio, it's
a CD er carousel model. You load all of your
CDs into this baby -- you're with your woman, you're
gonna make love -- you press ", " you can
go all night. ' And I'm like, 'You know, Mr. Salesman, I'm
not really a CD man. You got something that s ...
0 Comments, 37 Views,
11 Votes
,2.61 Score |
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sale 4/12/2018
Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores
on President's Day? <br><br>
A: All pants half off.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score |
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good ole days!! 4/12/2018
An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down
to the docks once more for old time's sake. He hires
a and takes her up to the room. He's going
at it as best as he can for a guy his age and asks, "How
am I doing?" <br><br> The says, "Well, sailor, you're
doing about knots." <br><br> "How's that?" he asks. ...
1 Comments, 47 Views,
4 Votes
,4.02 Score |
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...... and then the fight started... 4/12/2018
A guy is watching TV when his wife walks in and asks what's
on the TV? The guy says "Dust!" ..... and then
the fight started. <br><br>
A wife was hinting about what she wanted for her upcoming
anniversary. She Said, "I want something shiny
that goes from 0 - 180 in about 3 seconds." So, I bought
her a new a new bathroom ale. ...and then the fight started. ...
1 Comments, 32 Views,
8 Votes
,3.48 Score |
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sanity 4/11/2018
A mad man saw his fellow mad friend crying by a river side.
He sat down beside him and asked: “Why are u crying?"
The other replied: “I put a cube of in this
river, but when I tasted, I felt nothing. It's not sweet!" The mad
man blew up with laughter and said: "You!
You are really very mad! Did you stir it?" ...
1 Comments, 26 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score |
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AT THE HOSPITAL 4/10/2018
How to you find the head nurse?............................................................................................................................................................................................Look
for the one with dirty knees....
1 Comments, 16 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score |
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Random post don’t read 4/4/2018
Rabble babble hctvdhdd. Tvthg fr h h g e h f g g h he g hhh g
1 Comments, 17 Views,
11 Votes
,1.30 Score |
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The Lion Tamer 4/4/2018
A ringmaster runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show
up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other
is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. <br><br>
The ringmaster tells them, "I'm not going to
sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last
tamer so you two had better be good or you're history.
Here's your equipment -- chair, a ...
0 Comments, 61 Views,
16 Votes
,3.57 Score |
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Joke #2 4/2/2018
Job interviewer: “And where would you see yourself in
five years’ time Mr. Jeffries?" <br><br>
Me: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is
in listening."
0 Comments, 32 Views,
11 Votes
,1.11 Score |
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Joke 4/2/2018
Q. Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? <br><br>
A. Because he just couldn't see himself doing it.
1 Comments, 20 Views,
13 Votes
,1.30 Score |
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guess the jokes!!! 3/31/2018
whats worse than finding a worm in ur apple? amp; Finding a snake!!! <br><br>
who was the roundest knight at the banquet? Sir "CUM"frence !!! <br><br>
working for a drogon is cool! unless... u get Fired!!! what did round tess say to larger tickles? <br><br>
we are a giant tesstickles... (testicals)
1 Comments, 24 Views,
15 Votes
,1.45 Score |
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Heaven 3/21/2018
God visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking,
drinking and unmarried sex if she wants to get into Heaven.
<br><br>
The woman said she would try her best. God visited the woman
a week later to see how she was getting on. <br><br>
"Not bad" said the woman, "I've given
up smoking and drinking but then I bent over to get some stuff
out of the ...
5 Comments, 118 Views,
27 Votes
,5.03 Score |
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Tell if she's a Virgin 3/19/2018
A fellow talking to his friend says, "How can I tell
if my girl is a virgin?" <br><br>
Friend tells him, "You have to wait till your wedding
night, you show it to her and ask what it is. If she calls it
a penis, she's a virgin. If she says it's a cock,
she's been around." <br><br>
So the guy gets married, and in the hotel room he flips it ...
7 Comments, 152 Views,
32 Votes
,5.68 Score |
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Turkey Tattoo 3/19/2018
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor, and asks for a turkey
on her right inner thigh and a Christmas Tree on her left
inner thigh. <br><br>
The tattoo guy looks at her and says, "If you don't
mind me asking, why do you want those tattoos in those spots?"
<br><br>
The woman looks at him and replies, "My husband is
always complaining he has nothing to eat ...
5 Comments, 71 Views,
19 Votes
,4.18 Score |
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Biker Sex 3/19/2018
Tired of the boring "straights" she'd
been laying, a gal decided she'd find out if bikers
were really the heavy "cocksmen" that she heard
they were. <br><br>
So she picked up a gigantic biker and went with him up to his
pad. Stripped and ready, anxiously awaiting some real
action, she was astonished to see that his fully erect dick
was only two inches long. ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
21 Votes
,3.50 Score |
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The Hit Man 3/19/2018
Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first hole
of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag
called out to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner
didn't turn up." "Sure, " they said, "You're welcome."
So they started playing and enjoyed the game and the company
of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of the friends ...
0 Comments, 84 Views,
20 Votes
,4.78 Score |
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Another work of art 3/18/2018
[Fart] The worlds can be one together Cosmos without hatred Stars like diamonds in your eyes The ground can be space (space, space, space, space) With feet marching towards a peaceful sky All the Moonmen want things their way But we make sure they see the sun Goodbye, Moonmen We say goodbye, Moonmen Goodbye, Moonmen Goodbye, Moonmen Oh, goodbye <br><br>
[Fart] Cosmos without hatred ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score |
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breast 3/18/2018
how much calcium is there in woman's breasts? <br><br>
answer: its enough to help a man's boneless thing stand
up!!!
1 Comments, 13 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score |
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rooster 3/17/2018
why don't roosters wear underwear? Because there peckers are on there face!!
0 Comments, 17 Views,
14 Votes
,1.38 Score |
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rooster 3/17/2018
why don't roosters wear underwear? Because there peckers are on there face!!
0 Comments, 10 Views,
10 Votes
,2.39 Score |
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condoms 3/15/2018
Q. Why are condoms transparent? <br><br>
A: So that sperms can at least enjoy the ene even if their
entry is Restricted!
0 Comments, 22 Views,
14 Votes
,2.66 Score |
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derka derka 3/15/2018
baka la ah derka derka heh
0 Comments, 8 Views,
5 Votes
,1.19 Score |
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pokes for tokes 3/14/2018
pointless... as i need points rabble babble scramble dabble
0 Comments, 12 Views,
6 Votes
,0.23 Score |
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Jokes 3/12/2018
How do you stop a rhinoceros from charging? Take away its credit card!!
1 Comments, 19 Views,
16 Votes
,1.80 Score |
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orgasm 3/11/2018
I said to my girlfriend the other night will you tell me when
you orgasm? She relied that depends. On what? I said If there's a phone nearby she replied.
0 Comments, 28 Views,
12 Votes
,2.27 Score |
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Funny joke 3/11/2018
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the
pig I've been fucking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
2 Comments, 30 Views,
18 Votes
,2.58 Score |
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Frenchman, Italian and Irishman 3/11/2018
Sitting around a table in the pub the Italian says. You know
what, when I make love to my wife and she climaxes she raises
her body one foot off the bed. The Frenchman says, thats
nothing when I make love to my girlfriend and she orgasms
her body rises three feet off the bed. Scratching his head
the Irishman says thats nothing, when I finish making love
to my wife I wipe my dick on the curtains ...
1 Comments, 55 Views,
16 Votes
,3.42 Score |