Articles by bendoon1

bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   11/16/2019

Married couple at a Zoo walks past a gorilla enclosure. <br><br> Says the woman: 'Mark, Do you know that gorillas are the only which resemble men in their behavior? <br><br&g


0 Comments, 5 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   11/16/2019

I went to a sex addiction clinic yesterday. <br><br> We all gathered in a circle and one one each person told stories of their sordid sexual encounters. <br><br> the time it


0 Comments, 3 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   11/12/2019

My mate broke his leg so I went see him at home. “How are you mate?” “Yeah I’m okay. But do me a favour mate. Go fetch my slippers from upstairs. My feet are freezing.” I went upstairs and


0 Comments, 22 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   11/10/2019

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer, was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket, went in to try for the job.: "Okay." The sheriff drawled. "Gomer, what is 1 and 1


0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   11/3/2019

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   10/31/2019

I scared the postwoman today by going to the door completely naked. <br><br> I'm not sure what scared her more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where she lived. 😊...


0 Comments, 4 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   10/27/2019

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument over breakfast one morning. <br><br> As things got heated, the doctor shouted at his wife, “You aren’t so good in bed either!” and th


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   10/27/2019

A girl about to be married confessed to her close friend that she was not, as her fiance thought, a virgin. She asked her friend what to do. "No Problem, " said the friend, had just finishe


0 Comments, 28 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Its the way i tell em   10/26/2019

There is nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way th


0 Comments, 17 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   10/25/2019

I came home from work the other night and caught my wife shagging a total stranger. I shouted "What the hell do you think you are doing"?and she replied"I told you he was stupid" .


0 Comments, 8 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
And the hits keep rolling on   10/16/2019

The wife came up me yesterday asking for some for some new shoes.Of course, i said no and, she went off in a right huff.Last night, feeling somewhat randy, i cuddled up her in bed.She said, "Y


0 Comments, 20 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
more humour   10/16/2019

An old man is walking in Amsterdam and passes a standing at her door. She asks him: "Granddad, why don't we give it a try?” "No girl, that is no longer possible for me” he replies.


0 Comments, 29 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   10/14/2019

Last night I rode my bike to the bar here in town and I had a few beers, followed by a few bourbons and a number of shots..... I still had the sense to know I was over the limit. That's when I dec


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
a joke   10/8/2019

A woman was enjoying a good game of golf with her girlfriends. "Oh, no!" she suddenly exclaimed. "Look at the time! I have to rush home and fix dinner for my husband! He'll be so


0 Comments, 40 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Lets try this one   10/7/2019

A visits her for dinner... who just happens to live with a girl roommate. <br><br> During the course of the meal, his couldn't but notice how pretty his roommate was. <br><


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   10/7/2019

Bert and Ethel, a couple in Their 80s are celebrating are getting close to Their 60th wedding anniversary. Bert books a week at the hotel they had honeymooned in for the occasion. On Their anniversary


0 Comments, 23 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
more humour   10/6/2019

First time with my new girlfriend in the back of my car Her “ This is my first time, I’m a virgin, so what do I do ?” Me “ just grasp it the shaft and pretend you’re brushing your teeth”


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   10/4/2019

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. “Of course, my , ” said the priest. “Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beaut


0 Comments, 18 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   10/2/2019

A couple had decided to use calculator as a codeword for intercourse. The man told his to ask Mummy for the calculator. He comes back and tells him that she'd said she'll get it soon. A


0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   10/1/2019

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ To ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan And didn’t I marry ye and


0 Comments, 27 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/29/2019

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $, 000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk,


0 Comments, 32 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Lets try this one   9/28/2019

A man with a gun goes into a bank and demands their money. Once he is given the money, he turns to a customer and asks, 'Did you see me rob this bank?' <br><br> The man replied, &#


0 Comments, 34 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/28/2019

After two weeks on a desert island with only each other for company, Bob and Geoff are getting horny. "Look, " says Bob, "Neither of us are gay, but if you pretend to be a women for me,


0 Comments, 30 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
A Joke   9/20/2019

Justin Trudeau was reportedly very excited to be asked to address a conference on racism. <br><br> Apparently he's totally made up


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/18/2019

Porn star Jessica Jaymes has died, with her death classified as natural. <br><br> Unlike the rest of her....


0 Comments, 16 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/16/2019

The wife was bent over looking at something and it was to good an opportunity to miss. I pulled her knickers to one side and did what nature intended. Apparently we are banned from Walmart now .


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/15/2019

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine . A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine are able to fit


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/9/2019

A of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was the teacher insisted on no baby talk. "You need to use 'big people' words, &qu


0 Comments, 77 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/8/2019

A drunken Irishman is driving through the city of Dublin and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So, " says the cop to the driver, "where have you bee


0 Comments, 63 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/8/2019

One day little Johnny went to his father, and asked him if he could him a £200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father said, "Johnny, we have an £80, 000 mortgage on the house, and you w


0 Comments, 48 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/7/2019

Just pissed off the yoga instructor when she told the class to "holler out your favorite position!"... I yelled, "ANAL!"...


0 Comments, 6 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/7/2019

I met a beautiful girl and we were getting on great until I asked her out for a drink and she stormed off. I'm beginning to think that every woman you meet at AA is a lesbian...


0 Comments, 2 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/6/2019

A fledgling journalist has been sent out to an interview an elderly lady for the local rag, she has just turned 104 and still lives at home. The journo scribbles down the old lady's life story in


0 Comments, 26 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/5/2019

I was sat in a bar with my wife last night. She looked at me and said, "Why are you staring at that blonde woman with the big tits sitting over there?" "You're crazy! !I didn'


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/4/2019

Last night my wife wore a police uniform in bed and said, "you've been arrested for being good in bed!" <br><br> 90 seconds later the charges were dropped due to lack of e


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   9/2/2019

Dave woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made hi


0 Comments, 51 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
To The Point   9/1/2019

A woman whose was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News "God would make her better." Presumably, 's a different God from the one almost killed her with a tornado....


0 Comments, 13 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Even More Humour   9/1/2019

There was a local family whose was frankly very overweight and unattractive. I remember one day her mom came into school and spoke during assembly explaining she could no longer stand the bullying


0 Comments, 15 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/31/2019

There was a knock on the door and on answering it discovered a Policeman holding a photo of my wife . He asked "Is this your wife sir"? to which I replied yes . He said "It looks like s


0 Comments, 11 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/31/2019

Fuck I remember the days when I was a you could go into a shop with £1 and come out with 2 tins of coke, a wham bar, a bag of crisps and 2 magnums.... Now , Fuckin CCTV everywhere.


0 Comments, 10 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/27/2019

A is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her walks in. “, where do babies come from?” The thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get m


0 Comments, 21 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
more humour   8/26/2019

I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone and a nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm looking for to unlock my phone....


0 Comments, 9 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/26/2019

One the first teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her . She came to the part of the story where the first was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She


0 Comments, 52 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
more humour   8/24/2019

In a recent survey 100 women were asked what shower soap they preferred . 99 percent of the women replied "Get out of the shower you pervert"


0 Comments, 14 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/24/2019

I came home from the pub last night and the wife said to me "What time do you call this"? 56 years of age and still cant tell the time ....


0 Comments, 19 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/20/2019

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short Bob, the homeowner,


0 Comments, 37 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/17/2019

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at pea


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/17/2019

A Scottish couple took in an 18-year-old as a lodger. She asked if she could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a t


0 Comments, 42 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Humour   8/15/2019

“Doc, I think has VD, ” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a lad , ” the medic soothed, “G


0 Comments, 38 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
More Humour   8/10/2019

HOW DID THE 7 DWARVES GET THEIR NAMES? Miss Snow White was a randy cow, And desperate for a f**k, So off she went into the woods, To try and get some luck. She'd almost given up looking, When she


0 Comments, 42 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Humour   8/10/2019

My german girlfriend likes to my sexual performances on a scale of 1-. Last night we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That's the best I've ever done....


0 Comments, 24 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Police   8/10/2019

Police are now trialing portable on-the-spot DNA testing machines for use crime scenes. <br><br> A Police spokesman said "It's a great bit of kit, we are now able to tamper with


0 Comments, 7 Views, 0 Votes
bendoon1 63 M
47  Articles‚ Score 18.1
Humour   8/10/2019

3 Irishmen in a bar. Murphy says "My local's better than this. In my local, you 2 drinks and the 3rd's free" Mick says, "Well in my local you 1 drink you get the 2nd free&quo


0 Comments, 50 Views, 0 Votes