Laughing your ass off brightens your mood. Sex relieves your stress (JAMA, 2009). Having someone cover expenses...well...that just has to be worth exploring. Please be in or near Denver, CO. or willing to travel I have a very low tolerance for beating around the bush, so to speak, so I'll be up front. Yes - I'm here partially because I love sex. I miss the company and touch of a woman. Of course, I would also like an ongoing, FWB situation but one that actually includes the "friend" aspect. Maybe something greater develops. Who knows? I know myself well enough to admit that emotionless banging just doesn't work for me. We would have a very nice rendezvous for two playing Scrabble instead. I don't have to be in love with you but sex is not all about the cock and pussy show. It's also deeply psychologically rooted. There's got to be some connection. So there you have it, not one for a quick "come fuck me" meeting. Tried it. Played Scrabble. I'm 51, employed, well educated, soft spoken, and very creative. I played classical piano. I'm a published academic authhor and I practiced psychotherapy for about 20 years. Now I sling pizzas for a living. Well, I manage the store that houses those that sling pizzas. Hobbies? Going through my Spam folder is a riot!.............................. yeah.... You didn't really think so. Did you? I do enjoy combining writing, intelligent humor and caustic wit in my blog proving daily that there are no stupid questions, only stupid people. I know this wasn't all about making your twat twitter or sneaking around and getting nailed by some guy in a random flea ridden motel accompanied by a hundred million dick pics. I figured you know what that looks like by now. No need to revisit 8th grade sex ed. I do however wish to make some new and meaningfully sex filled relationships since the death of my wife 18 months ago. It would be great hearing from, and seeing, you. NOW FOR the 90% of those reading this. SOMETHING JUST FOR YOU! Now, the majority of those contacting me are just getting your rocks off trying to be real but you are obvious. So for you, I want to invite you all to an unprecedented event. There are even scholarships to attend the first annual "SCAMMERCON" hosted here in Denver in the Fall of 2022. Here's a preview. Suggestions welcome. For all the passion you guys have invested in trying to rip people off, you lack the resources, connections, and the intelligence necessary to accomplish your goals. AND you are lazy! SO steal some candy from a baby and get your creative "gyp you with a gift card" juices flowing! You need to attend "ScammerCon" so you can all get together and network. Why? 1. Your communication sucks. 2. The duplication of effort is off the charts. You all look alike to me. 3. Your playbook is outdated. The opposition knows every play. 4. Attend the breakout sessions in English Composition sponsored by Grammarly. You can learn to use the English language, not butcher it. 5. Script writing for Morons session 2B. is a must! this is where after stealing some candy from a baby you get those creative "gyp you with a gift card" juices flowing. Currently you guys are using the same Script Bank. Makes chatting with a BOT interesting and busts you out every time. 6. A couple of 10 year olds give the Keynote Address on "Identity Busting Software A can Master. Why Can't You?" 7. The sponsors are aware you have a hard time spelling "OK" but they insisted on the debut of their latest market rating software, "Analytics for Assholes." Experts from IBM, Google, The California Institute of Technology. and Mrs. Sutton's third grade c;lass, present a 2 day workshop. The Learning Objectives include: 1. tracking the progress of your bullshit in real time. 2. identifying gaps in service non delivery. 3. obtaining some hard data to back you up on your most colossal failures. 4. Photo screening. Face it. You guys aren't the greatest at eliminating the electronic fingerprints from the photos you copy from porn sites, Russian services, and models that appear in various popular but useless style magazines. This software assists you in putting on the electronic gloves. 5. Track and rate men from Most Desperate to what they were suckered with last time with an auto repeat function and MUCH MUCH MORE! Preregister TODAY!

My Ideal Person Ideal person? Tough question. Do you meet these criteria?
1. You live in or near Denver/Aurora Colorado.
2. Your picture is really you. (no porn star, models, escorts animated characters etc. just genuine you)
3. You want casual ongoing dates with someone who wants the same. Maybe even get pampered a little. (no sugar babies)
4. You are not camped out in a hut in Nigeria with two first names for a name.
5. You are not requesting "half up front." That can get messy if you think about it.
6. You did not ask me to verify the last 4 digits of my SS#
7. You actually know the English language.
7. This list at least made you smile for a second.

What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
Giving Oral Sex, Receiving Oral Sex, Light Bondage, Threesomes, Mutual Masturbation, Food Play, Blindfolds, Massage

What factors are most important to you when looking for a sexual partner?:
Ability to be discreet, Sexual appetite, Willingness to freely discuss and try anything, Creativity/Kinkiness level

Have you ever had cybersex?:
Not yet, but I definitely want to try it.

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